In A Pickle

A conversation with an ol' timer who died 

in the cruelest month of the year in Newfoundland,  July  1990  ...
 

"So how's the fishing this year, me son?"

Well, you know, it an't bad...

"Whadda mean, "An't bad?"

We've gotta billion dollar industry you know.
 
Ya, we had one in 1990 too, but how's the fishing?

Well, the Cod's coming back ...
 
"Whaa ... coming back?? - whadda you mean, where did they go?"

Well, they just disappeared, ya know. Not a one to be seen.
  The fishery has always been cyclical, me son.

No, no, we had a Moratorium
 A Moratorium? Was that a bad storm?

Well kinda.... more like a really bad  crime, actually.
  You mean someone killed off all the fish?

Yes, that's kinda how it happened.
  And they caught the murderer and sent him to jail for the rest of his life?

No, no, there was not one single person who committed the crime. 

More like a slew of people, like those who managed our fish...and  foreigners.
  God-damn foreigner! So, some sleveen went to jail for the crime?
 

I guess so ...
  What do you mean "guess so" ?

Well sir,  it was us, the Newfoundlanders - we paid the price  .... we haven't been fishing Cod  for 25 years.
  "Twenty-five years? Is this some sort of joke, young man? Are you trying to shock me to death.... right, I'm already dead...

It was only supposed to be 2 years, you know, but before we knew it, a quarter century has passed... hard to believe.

" Newfoundlanders have gone twenty-five years without commercially fishing Cod ? 

- that sacrilegious! What the hell have you been doing  with yer-selves?

A lot of us went off broken-hearted to the mainland ... 

And there was NO  uprising?

No,  we've been pretty tame about it I must say .... kinda apathetic actually...
  "25 years with no Cod  after 500 years a proud fishing nation 

AND no war broke out, 

and no one was shot 

and no one went to jail?"

Nope ...

Not even an inquiry?

Nope...

  "Has our resilient people gone soft, me lad?"

I think so, sir ...
  "You don't say! Ok, so what else has been happening since I slipped the surly bonds of earth?"

We're in a bad pickle.
  "About the Cod?"

No, No sir, about the Pickle.
  "You're going all nonsensical on me, me  son, what pickle?"

Its devastating really ...
  "What da  are you talking about? Did our beloved island get destroyed all together?"

No, no, sir, but everyone is a tizzy over the pickle.
  "You mean our sacred salt beef has been sacrificed along with our iconic Cod?"

Worst sir, our Sweet Mustard Pickles have been discontinued.
  "Sweet Jesus,  Mary and Joseph, Newfoundland is truly plagued. First, our Cod and now, our Sweet Mustard Pickles... what next?" 

Well sir, we're fortifying our defense against the potential loss of our most important treasure.
 "What's that, my son?"

Our outports.
  Yes ... yes ...  of course don't ever lose those - that would be the worst crime of our all. I'll be praying for you all."

Thank you sir.  And it was good to chat with you.

"No  problem, don't forget I'm here if you're ever in a pickle; and Sweet Jesus, get on that Cod recovery mission  or our great culture will truly be doomed.  Codspeed!
 And truthfully ...  

I still can't believe NO ONE went to jail for that big bad storm called the Moratorium...

 |KP

 (With gratitude to Ray Guy for his inspiration)